Welcome internet shoppers...

Our on-line catalogue features products you just gotta have right now. Most of the items you'll find here are Half Ass Expeditions originals, created and/or manufactured by Tim Novak and the Half Ass Expeditions team. All the products in this catalogue are made with pride in the United States of America.

Official HAE Membership
$15.95

Do you have what it takes to be on the HAE Team? You do if you have some cash. That's right, a paltry payment in US dollars and YOU are in! Just like the rich clients dying on Mount Everest, you can buy your way into the HAE experience. Aside from the elevated social status and admiration from co-workers and colleagues, an official HAE membership includes:

Your file at every ranger station, forest management headquarters and game warden's office in the United States.

No charge for admission to any of HAE's free seminars.

Possible exclusion from Arbor Day festivities, environmental activist events and women's group luncheons.

Stern warnings from your parents.

Strip search at the entrance of all National Parks, State Forests and public campgrounds in America.

Schedule of AA meetings in your area.

The name of a good therapist and a good lawyer.

Increased harrassment from law enforcement officials.

An awesome HAE Deforestation Tour tee shirt.

A classic and essential HAE lighter

The haeadventure.com bumpersticker

and, of course.... The Official HAE Membership card

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